Giving pets for gifts during the holidays

  Thought I would post a bit on this issue as the holidays are here. Many, many puppies, kittens and bunnies are given as gifts during the holiday season. And many, come March, find their way back into shelters looking for a home again. Mostly because the "new" has worn off and the true scope of pet care and responsibility has set in.

Before you think about getting that cute puppy or kitten for someone or for your child, please remember that a pet is for life, not just for Christmas. There is a lot of forethought that needs to go into giving someone or a child a pet. Unless you are an integral role in the family, you wont know what kind of animal would fit in best with their household, and situation. If you are a family member, a family meeting should be held so that everyone  can openly express their thoughts and ideas or likes and dislikes regarding pets. In addition, a discussion should happen about who will will take on what chores  will make things easier in the long run.

Research on proper care and the necessary equipment should be done beforehand. While something like a large dog breed might have sounded good, might need scaling back to a smaller breed that will cost less to maintain. And puppies and kittens are always adorable, but an older animal might be easier to incorporate into a busy household where both adults work.

On a more emotional and philosophical level, should a living creature ever be given as a gift? Do you think perhaps that it belittles the animal, reducing him or her to a mere possession like a doll or puppet that can be bought and sold, and passed on from one individual to another as a token of their consideration or affection? Shelters, rescuers and even some breeders refer to placing animals in homes as adopting them out. Their thought is that the adoptee then becomes a member of the family, rather than a possession obtained through the reception of a gift.

If the previous concerns have not dissuaded you, I might suggest that you rethink your timing.

Introducing a new animal into a household during the tumultuous holiday season is generally an invitation for trouble. Homes are bedecked with poisonous plants, lit candles and fragile decorations, all of which are decidedly not pet-friendly. People in the house are stressed out and preoccupied and routines suffer as people rush to and fro to go to parties, visiting loved ones, and possible vacations. Think about if it is fair to the animal to come into a chaotic environment to start with. Think about too if there is really time for housebreaking a new puppy or conducting the water tests necessary to set up a new aquarium? In most households, the answer would be a resounding "no."

Does the 3 year old child know what caring for a pet really means, and cries the first time Puppy nips or bites her on the hand while the two are playing. Mom and Dad then take the puppy off in the car and drop him off at the local animal shelter along with the three to five million other dogs and cats returned to shelters each year.

Sometimes though you have given thought to every possible angle and the present actually works out. But not always.

If you are giving thought to this,  and you still want to give a pet as a gift, I would sincerely like to encourage you to give thought to adopting a shelter or rescue pet to give. We have so many beautiful homeless animals out there already looking for their forever home wouldn't it be just as wonderful help them have a home and someone to love for the holidays too?

Think things through and discuss with the others if this is what you really want for the holidays. And perhaps fostering a pet for the holiday would be a good trial run.  But do remember that there is fear and anxiety on the part of the animal too coming to a new home a people that he or she doesn't know, there is always a big adjustment on all sides and learning to co-exist and adapt to one another. Be sure you have the time and the capability. When you take in an animal you are taking full responsibility for it's care and life, treat that life with love, compassion, and respect.

A bit more on forever homes and healing from loss

Recently a friend whom I am very privileged to know, who is an amazing, compassionate, passionate about animals, and beautiful lady lost her little soul mate. This pup had a rough life from the beginning starting out life on the streets in Puerto Rico as a Sato, or street dog. This little dog chose her when she and her husband were there on their honeymoon several years ago. She was so moved by this little dog that when she returned home, she found a way to bring him to her here in New Mexico. Is it any wonder they named him Rico? This little dog was the first of two to be rescued from the streets of Puerto Rico for her and her husband. The bond was amazingly very strong between them all. Their dogs touched many hearts and made many smiles for us all, as they went everywhere with them.

About 2 weeks ago now, he left them suddenly from complications of illness. Leaving them very bereft and inconsolable. It has been as hard on those of us also who love her as our friend and knew this little dog. I wished so much that I could make their burden easier for them, knowing I couldn't, it was hard. However, I did encourage her to keep her heart open to another perhaps that was waiting to fill the space and who needed them.

To my surprise I received this beautiful email from her last night and with her permission wished to share it with you.

Life is so strange sometimes....

 

Yesterday around lunch time, I sent off an email to my friend Mary, also known as Mary Martin, Santa Fe Animal Shelter Director. I asked her what her opinion was of adopting another dog after the loss of such a love as my heartdog Rico. I told her I was deeply depressed and unsure how to pull myself out of this. I also told her I had been scanning over the "Adoptable Dogs" on their web site and my mouse kept clicking and returning to this little brown dog named Butternut.

 

I didn't get any answer. The day went by...Thursday, usually my very favorite day because by the time 530 PM rolls around I've put 50 hours under my belt and I get to go home for 3 days...but yesterday, the weekend ahead loomed over me like a big black hole in the universe, ready to swallow me up...all I wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed and cry.

 

Then, at 230 PM, Mary walked into our business, with this little brown dog in her arms, Butternut from the SF Animal Shelter web site, plopped him down in my lap and said something to the effect of....You know, this little fellow needs arms to hold him, someone to love him...you can tell me RIGHT NOW to get the heck out of here, or you can keep him and bring him back to the shelter tomorrow morning, or you can bring him back Sunday, or you can keep him forever...you are under NO obligation here...and she left. The dog snuggled under my chin and fell asleep in my arms.....

 

 

Do I need to tell you the rest of the story?

 

Today, at 230 PM, I was at the shelter officially adopting this little adorable treasure. We named him Max. He is approximately 7-8 months old and was picked up as an unneutered  stray by animal control on August 12. He was neutered and microchipped while at the shelter.  (Stephen would have been there with me to do the official adoption papers but he is in bed with a bad cold, alas the pictures of him with Max in bed)

 

Last night, for the FIRST night since Rico died, I slept a few solid hours with Max tucked under my chin sighing contentedly. The pain constricting my chest has lifted and I am able to breathe again.

 

Does he replace Rico? NO! Rico is my heartdog, nothing will EVER change that. Does having Max make me feel again? YES! Do I still cry for Rico? YES!

 

Max is a TOTAL people/lap dog. All he wants to do is be held and snuggle, he is absolutely PRECIOUS. The bonus is that he and Nita hit it off immediately and they play together all the time! Nita had been so depressed since Rico's death.

 

I think you can see by the pictures that Stephen is smitten as well. And yes, I look like hell, the last 12 days have been horrible on me.

 

This afternoon, while we were at home watching Max and Nita play, Mary Martin called me to tell us that the Rico Fund had raised "several THOUSAND dollars"....Stephen and I just sat here and CRIED. What a wonderful legacy for Rico and a wonderful testament to all the friends we have here. We will be forever grateful for everyone's support after Rico's death.

 

Go ahead, write back and tell me I am crazy! But wait till you meet Max! Even though he may look a bit like Rico, he is nothing like Rico at all, very different personality. And those LONG legs and floppy ears!

Upon reading this, I truly did cry for her from joy, joy that this little dog found his forever home, and joy that he was there to help ease the pain of loss.

Here is a picture of the little guy, I think he looks tuckered out from all the excitement! :)

Forever homes and understanding soul companions

Sometimes it is hard to have a big compassionate heart. If I could, I would probably find a way to help so many more critters than I can right now. Recently we helped donate food for a food and supplies drive for our local shelter who had just taken in 40+ dogs from a hoarder, and while there I went to visit the critters up for adoption. Thinking on it,  I felt compelled to write a bit about animals and their choosing us.

I went in to visit with the dogs at the shelter when I dropped off some of the food and towels, and was looking to share a little loving healing and Ttouch with those who were open for it. Of course I found a pup who was just lovely, and wished I could give her a home. I talked to my husband about her and we went back to visit her together the next day, and see if she could perhaps be a part of our family.

It's obvious she's a man's dog, and she was very loving and well behaved and full of wonderful happy energy. And she's a beautiful girl. But as we spent more time with her we realized that we were not who she's seeking. We weren't her forever home. While we were ready to probably upset my geriatric crew with a new sibling, we realized that it isn't time for us or for her to be with us. It was obvious she wasn't looking for us and I truly feel that the right person would be there for her before long. (She was adopted about 3 weeks after our visit.)

This was ok with us. Because we understood that an animal that comes into your life picks or chooses to be with you and be your soul companion. They will come into your life whether or not you're ready. They come when they need you, or your heart truly needs them. All my life my soul companions, big and small, have entered my life when they needed to be with me, and about all of my animals are rescues or adopted from this shelter over the last 29 years, with the exception of horses. Those that I have adopted, chose me and there was an instantaneous bond when they connected with me. Djinn, my russian blue kitty is a shelter adoptee about 13 yrs ago now. However, he and the boy whom I adopted with him were special in the way they were selected. You see I was living in Bisbee Arizona at the time and had lost my beloved boy kitty who was really my soul mate, and I was grieving and feeling very bereft. I called my father here in Santa Fe telling him I really needed to share love with another siamese kitty. He came to the Santa Fe Shelter looking for the "right" kitty for me. At the time they didn't have a siamese, but had this pretty Russian Blue boy with these solemn green eyes who was about 6 months old. Dad picked him up and knew he'd found the one. When he called me to tell me, I knew his name and said yes, I would love him. When he went back to finish the adoption papers, a man came in with a scared 4 month old siamese cross with the most intense blue eyes imaginable (as a voluntary drop) and dad on the spot said he'd be adopting him too. When he called to break it to me about the second kitty, it was alright, and I knew his name too, Cinna. Cinna left me 4 yrs ago, and I miss him. But Djinn is still with me, and like my other boys, Mushy and Lil'Shit they are very much a part of me.

Moving along, being the perverse little furry imps that my current crew can be, when we got home from the shelter today, it was as if they knew I'd been "unfaithful" and I no sooner sat down and found myself inundated with purring and licking furry bodies. They couldn't get close enough. It was as if they were saying, "it's ok mom, sometimes you just gotta share a little love with another who needs it." Made me cry to realize once again, just how very blessed I am with my kids, how much they continually share love with me and remind me of compassion. So the one truth I have found are that the animals who really share their lives with us, they pick us, we don't pick them. Sometimes though, they may not find their soul partner right away or at all, and then we might be the ones chosen to help them through their life. My husband agrees with this perception, and understands this. This being shown to us by the fact that one of my little dogs, Poppy, has chosen him, bonded totally with him, and truly adores him with every fiber of her being, it's that obvious. I was just the means to connect her with my husband. Yummy loves us both, but he is of the frame of mind that we are just here to serve him, even if he is very devoted to hubby also. LOL

So for now, we know it's not time, but we keep ourselves open to any animal who needs us if and when they do arrive. And we'll continue to love our current kids all that much more while they are with us.