Yesterday evening I had to do just that for my very loved boy, Mushy. He had become ill over the last week, and even with vet visits and such, he stopped eating and drinking. And he told me it was time. He couldn't have said it any louder either. Knowing the decision I had to make and the fact he was asking me to let him go didn't make it any easier. I knew I couldn't be selfish, for he had taught me so much about unconditional love and compassion that selfishness wouldn't fit into the picture here. I certainly wasn't ready to let him go, but I needed to for him.
I have written previously a bit about my bond with him. You see he found me when he needed care and resucing at 4 weeks of age. and for 18 years I have cared for him to the absolute best of my abilities. He returned the love and care by truly watching over me, keeping me alive, and healing me when I needed it most. Our bond grew ever so much stronger over the last couple of years when I learned to communicate with him at a so much deeper level with the Tellington Ttouch. Mushy was my soul companion on so many levels. By giving him the ultimate act of compassion when he asked it of me, gave him release with grace and dignity.
It will take time to grieve, and adjust to being without his tangible presence around me. And I need to remember to let the other animals in to grieve with me, and love me, that they need my love too right now. We can help each other heal. Lil'Shit was the first to know when I got back home, and he couldn't get close enough to me. I realized I am so truly blessed to have shared such a bond with Mushy, and that I have all these other loving beautiful little souls with me. I am also so very blessed to have the family and friends in my life at this time.
I know he's out of pain and waiting at the rainbow bridge for me one day with my other beloved pets who have gone ahead.
I am posting a poem that says so very much from a beautiful lady whom I've had to privilege to know online, and hope one day I can meet her in person to tell her how healing her words have been for me in past and now.
Thank you Mushy for being so much a part of my life!
A Kitty’s Conversation
© 2004 By Carol Notermann
“Where’s Mommy?” The wee small cat, asked the One who lifted it.
“She’ll be along.” His voice replied. “We’ll only wait a bit.”
“But she was holding me and crying. I felt her shoulders shake.”
“I know. You see, she made a choice, the hardest she could make.”
“But I went to sleep inside her arms?” the little cat replied.
His voice was soft, “I know, and that was why she cried.”
“I stood beside your Mommy, when the vet was bending down.
I gave her strength to hold you, as her tears fell all around”
“Will you stay with me till Mommy comes?” the kitty asked the Man.
“I’ll be here each day to see you, until she comes to you again.”
“For right beside that Rainbow Bridge, is where dogs and kitties wait,
And when you’re human’s time has come, I’ll take you both on through the gate.”
Dear Mom,
I’m just about to take a nap, for I’ve been running free.
I was chasing butterflies, and one small bumble bee.
I’ve rolled around in catnip, I’ve climbed high in a tree
And now I’ll rest all cuddled up with others just like me.
I’m in a truly lovely place, it’s right by Heaven’s gate.
I’m not alone, and I am told this is the place to wait.
I’ve told everyone about you, they said you won’t be late.
That though on earth long years will pass, I’ll meet you by the gate.
There’s a bridge we’ll cross together, it has a rainbow hue
And really it’s so pretty here, that all I miss is you.
So please don’t think about the things you did or didn’t do
It was my time to find the bridge, so please do not feel blue.
I’m sorry that I left so fast, with just a kiss good-bye.
But I’ve enclosed a “head butt” and a slow blink of my eye.
Take care of all my family and tell them that I’ll try
To be the one that greets them first, when they come, by and by.
Love and thanks for being such a good mom,
Your “Sweet” Kitty
© by Carol Notermann
1 comments:
I am so sorry. You are not alone in your grief. Boots our cat of 15 years passed away a few short weeks ago. Our dog, Trixie went over the rainbow bridge in January. Both of them lived full lives. Your cat lived a full long life with one owner/caretaker so you should be proud to have been a part of his life.
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