This week has been especially tough for us, and actually the last two weeks haven't been easy at all. I have had such a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that cancer can grow and spread so very fast. I really did my best to keep hope that it wouldn't be so fast. And watching as it takes over my little guy's body is so very heartbreaking. Such an awful disease for anyone or any animal. I don't think anyone or any furbaby deserves it, so not fair.
Right now it's just after 4am, and I have been awake probably since around 1:30 or so. I can't sleep, it's time today, time to give him that ultimate gift of compassion and allow him to pass with grace, dignity and no more pain. And actually knowing this is tearing me up.
Someone I know made a remark to me yesterday about how it was best to "put him out of his misery". I have found that I really dislike that term. To me that term has always meant that you can't stand to see them "suffer" or that their condition makes you uncomfortable and you are putting them out of your misery. It's an awful term in my humble opinion. Misery to me means unhappiness, in a situation that seems hopeless, abuse, but not dying or in constant pain. I tried to explain to this person what it meant to me, and how just because an animal may develop a disability and it may be uncomfortable for you to watch them adapt or your perception of that disability is in a low place that you perceive they are in misery.
Actually many times they aren't. Animals are so much more adaptable in overcoming disabilities than we are. And it's their ability to adapt and overcome them that makes them so amazing and strong.
I noted to this person that knowing when to let them go is a harder and vastly different thing. She asked me what would you look for. I had to shake my head at that one because if you are truly in tune with your pet or animal companion, you would know when, they tell you when it's their time to be let go and when they need help letting go. This and knowing how to judge when they truly are suffering, in pain, and their quality of life is no longer there. They give us so very much that it's our responsibility to give them the loving and care all the way through their lives that we can.
All this is part in parcel of knowing when, and last night Djinn couldn't have told me any louder. This awful disease is progressing so much faster that I could have thought. This little guy has so much love in him it's incredible. He started his life somewhere, and someone did not want him by the time he was 6 months old and he ended up in our local shelter. He was slated for euthanasia when my dad found him for me. Needless to say, we've never regretted that decision 13 yrs later. He's been an amazing personality and always communicated through his eyes. And he is my reason for being so addicted to purring. And throughout all of this with the cancer and everything, he is still purring. I have only to hold him or pet him with love and he purrs. I think it's this strength that he has that even though he really is suffering now and in pain, that he continues to give of himself that makes this so very hard. And however much I don't want to lose that love and companionship, I know I need to do what is right by him. I cannot really let him suffer at all anymore. When you are truly in tune and aware of your pets and companions, you do truly know when, and they really do tell you it's time.
I have to admit though that it is so hard, and I am so sad and mad about having to make that trip and tell the vet yet again. And come home empty handed. My home and my heart will feel so empty for some time, and even knowing that you did all you could and gave them the best love and care you could through their life is not really much comfort. But knowing you could give them the ultimate gift of compassion is some comfort.
Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts
Friday, January 7, 2011
Friday, May 14, 2010
Science is now studying Happiness and Compassion...
Ah, science has finally gotten round to studying human happiness and compassion. This is happening apparently in Wisconsin at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and bascially came about from the Dalai Lama.
The more I read about the article (see here ) the more I thought about how much you can learn about happiness and compassion from animals.
The article cites, "This weekend, the Dalai Lama will mark the opening of the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the university's Waisman Center, where more than a dozen researchers will study the science behind positive qualities of mind. Davidson said the center will be the only one in the world with a meditation room next to a brain imaging laboratory.
Davidson's research has used brain imaging technology on Buddhist monks and other veteran practitioners of meditation to try to learn how their training affects mental health.
His team's findings suggest meditation and other "contemplative practices" can improve compassion, empathy, kindness and attention. They support the concept that even adult brains can change through experience and learning."
Well, this then led me to think that perhaps they should note that some of the best teachers of happiness and compassion are our animal friends. We all ooh and aah over the stories of orphan animals being adopted by a mother of another species (as shown by the pictures above), that is compassion and unconditional love that knows no boundaries. And animals tend to be in the moment of happiness, I would guess, better than 80% of the time. Or at least content, and when you're content, you are happy, safe, and loved.
We can learn a lot from the Dalai Lama, who is probably tops on my list of people I truly admire, he represents what it is truly like to live life with total compassion and he is a very wise man. However we can also continue to learn from the animals about loving and living in the moment, slowing down to enjoy the moment, never worrying about what's ahead, and when the moment warrants it, uncoditional love and compassion. I know the animals in my life do their best to remind me of it. And yes we do need constant reminders, and we need to have the self discipline to slow down and focus on our inner selves, and realize what is truly importants for our happiness and well being, and of those around us.
I believe there is a sentiment about this in a great history book, "And the meek shall inherit the earth". And I believe I like this definition best of Meek: patient and mild; not inclined to anger or resentment, and it used to mean, Gentle or Kind. I would think that we are definitely out-populated by our animal friends we share this wonderful world with. Isn't it time we showed a little compassion, love, and kindness for our teachers?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Daily lesson on compassion and how healing a cat's purr can be
Once again, I am reminded almost daily about compassion from my eldest cat Mushy. And how unconditionally our animals love us back.
A bit of history.... Mushy was an orphan 16+ yrs ago, he was about 4 weeks old when I found him, flea bitten and crying in a parking lot where someone had dumped him. He always has shown that he knows love and thanks from the beginning because when I picked him up, he crawled up onto my shoulder, began purring and fell asleep. It was the start of a long loving relationship.
We figure he is a Maine Coon cross, and as he grew, he got more independent, but would sleep with me and sometimes enjoyed my brushing or petting him until he'd had enough "people time". And he was always ready to play. Although if you bought cat toys for the cats, he figured they were his, and he would make off with them and hide them for himself. He was never a cuddler and only tolerated being picked up. But he was always watching over me when I slept at night and protecting me.
However, over a year ago now, there were some amazing changes that happened. I took a new class at the Community College where I work on Intro to Complementary and Alternative Medicine. I took this class with the objective of wanting to expand my knowledge in my drive to help animals and those I love more. We were given a final project for the class, to research a modality that we wanted to learn more about or experience, and write about it in two pages. I fell into (literally) the Tellington Ttouch while I was doing a search on sound therapy or vibrational medicine. We were learning about that modality at that juncture. Needless to say, I was surprised when ONE hit out of all that was for the Ttouch. I remembered many years ago when Linda Tellington was first coming out with the Tteam method for horses, and so the Ttouch method was new. I decided that this is where I would expand my learning for my report and got her book on the Method and animals. I started out learning it by practicing on the animals at home. I read that Cats take a bit longer to be accepting of the Ttouch than dogs, and this was true for my brood except Mushy. He became addicted to it at the very beginning. Learning this method brought about some amazing things from all the animals, it deepened our communication and the bonds.
I do it so much without thinking now, it has become second nature. And they all come to me when they need it for a little healing or closeness. I even have first time meeting new dogs and cats come right to me for touch and lean right into it. It is amazing how it will open one up to having a closer relationship with your animals.
But this isn't the best part yet! During this time, we had a lot of things going on in our lives that left me weary and heavy of heart. At this time Mushy got to where he absolutely had to climb up onto my chest and shoulder, and it was like he couldn't get close enough to me, and my heavens did he purr! Well, being the dense person that I am, it took me about 3 days to realize what he was doing. He was healing me! I finally paid attention and noticed that he was adjusting his purr tone and frequency to resonate with my heart and chest. And when I made that realization, my heavens it was amazing to just feel it! It brought round to me just how unconditionally they do love us, and that purrs actually can heal. That simple act of compassion and love he brought to me, quite simply left me feeling very, very humble. And he has been there for me numerous times since. Especially all of them couldn't get close enough when I was grieving my mother's death last year.
Since then we have been pretty much inseparable, and he gets anxious if he thinks I am leaving, and when I get home he can't get enough of being a part of me. He is still teaching me some beautiful lessons, and reminding me of compassion and love is one, the other is to slow down and marvel at the beauty that is life. And knowing that things have been stressful lately at work, he is reminding me to take care of me, and slow down. And he's teaching the other two, especially Djinn how to take care of mom. Cat's Purrs can heal and soothe and they really are guardians to our souls and hearts.
A bit of history.... Mushy was an orphan 16+ yrs ago, he was about 4 weeks old when I found him, flea bitten and crying in a parking lot where someone had dumped him. He always has shown that he knows love and thanks from the beginning because when I picked him up, he crawled up onto my shoulder, began purring and fell asleep. It was the start of a long loving relationship.
We figure he is a Maine Coon cross, and as he grew, he got more independent, but would sleep with me and sometimes enjoyed my brushing or petting him until he'd had enough "people time". And he was always ready to play. Although if you bought cat toys for the cats, he figured they were his, and he would make off with them and hide them for himself. He was never a cuddler and only tolerated being picked up. But he was always watching over me when I slept at night and protecting me.
However, over a year ago now, there were some amazing changes that happened. I took a new class at the Community College where I work on Intro to Complementary and Alternative Medicine. I took this class with the objective of wanting to expand my knowledge in my drive to help animals and those I love more. We were given a final project for the class, to research a modality that we wanted to learn more about or experience, and write about it in two pages. I fell into (literally) the Tellington Ttouch while I was doing a search on sound therapy or vibrational medicine. We were learning about that modality at that juncture. Needless to say, I was surprised when ONE hit out of all that was for the Ttouch. I remembered many years ago when Linda Tellington was first coming out with the Tteam method for horses, and so the Ttouch method was new. I decided that this is where I would expand my learning for my report and got her book on the Method and animals. I started out learning it by practicing on the animals at home. I read that Cats take a bit longer to be accepting of the Ttouch than dogs, and this was true for my brood except Mushy. He became addicted to it at the very beginning. Learning this method brought about some amazing things from all the animals, it deepened our communication and the bonds.
I do it so much without thinking now, it has become second nature. And they all come to me when they need it for a little healing or closeness. I even have first time meeting new dogs and cats come right to me for touch and lean right into it. It is amazing how it will open one up to having a closer relationship with your animals.
But this isn't the best part yet! During this time, we had a lot of things going on in our lives that left me weary and heavy of heart. At this time Mushy got to where he absolutely had to climb up onto my chest and shoulder, and it was like he couldn't get close enough to me, and my heavens did he purr! Well, being the dense person that I am, it took me about 3 days to realize what he was doing. He was healing me! I finally paid attention and noticed that he was adjusting his purr tone and frequency to resonate with my heart and chest. And when I made that realization, my heavens it was amazing to just feel it! It brought round to me just how unconditionally they do love us, and that purrs actually can heal. That simple act of compassion and love he brought to me, quite simply left me feeling very, very humble. And he has been there for me numerous times since. Especially all of them couldn't get close enough when I was grieving my mother's death last year.
Since then we have been pretty much inseparable, and he gets anxious if he thinks I am leaving, and when I get home he can't get enough of being a part of me. He is still teaching me some beautiful lessons, and reminding me of compassion and love is one, the other is to slow down and marvel at the beauty that is life. And knowing that things have been stressful lately at work, he is reminding me to take care of me, and slow down. And he's teaching the other two, especially Djinn how to take care of mom. Cat's Purrs can heal and soothe and they really are guardians to our souls and hearts.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
A bit more on forever homes and healing from loss
Recently a friend whom I am very privileged to know, who is an amazing, compassionate, passionate about animals, and beautiful lady lost her little soul mate. This pup had a rough life from the beginning starting out life on the streets in Puerto Rico as a Sato, or street dog. This little dog chose her when she and her husband were there on their honeymoon several years ago. She was so moved by this little dog that when she returned home, she found a way to bring him to her here in New Mexico. Is it any wonder they named him Rico? This little dog was the first of two to be rescued from the streets of Puerto Rico for her and her husband. The bond was amazingly very strong between them all. Their dogs touched many hearts and made many smiles for us all, as they went everywhere with them.
About 2 weeks ago now, he left them suddenly from complications of illness. Leaving them very bereft and inconsolable. It has been as hard on those of us also who love her as our friend and knew this little dog. I wished so much that I could make their burden easier for them, knowing I couldn't, it was hard. However, I did encourage her to keep her heart open to another perhaps that was waiting to fill the space and who needed them.
To my surprise I received this beautiful email from her last night and with her permission wished to share it with you.
Life is so strange sometimes....
Yesterday around lunch time, I sent off an email to my friend Mary, also known as Mary Martin, Santa Fe Animal Shelter Director. I asked her what her opinion was of adopting another dog after the loss of such a love as my heartdog Rico. I told her I was deeply depressed and unsure how to pull myself out of this. I also told her I had been scanning over the "Adoptable Dogs" on their web site and my mouse kept clicking and returning to this little brown dog named Butternut.
I didn't get any answer. The day went by...Thursday, usually my very favorite day because by the time 530 PM rolls around I've put 50 hours under my belt and I get to go home for 3 days...but yesterday, the weekend ahead loomed over me like a big black hole in the universe, ready to swallow me up...all I wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed and cry.
Then, at 230 PM, Mary walked into our business, with this little brown dog in her arms, Butternut from the SF Animal Shelter web site, plopped him down in my lap and said something to the effect of....You know, this little fellow needs arms to hold him, someone to love him...you can tell me RIGHT NOW to get the heck out of here, or you can keep him and bring him back to the shelter tomorrow morning, or you can bring him back Sunday, or you can keep him forever...you are under NO obligation here...and she left. The dog snuggled under my chin and fell asleep in my arms.....
Do I need to tell you the rest of the story?
Today, at 230 PM, I was at the shelter officially adopting this little adorable treasure. We named him Max. He is approximately 7-8 months old and was picked up as an unneutered stray by animal control on August 12. He was neutered and microchipped while at the shelter. (Stephen would have been there with me to do the official adoption papers but he is in bed with a bad cold, alas the pictures of him with Max in bed)
Last night, for the FIRST night since Rico died, I slept a few solid hours with Max tucked under my chin sighing contentedly. The pain constricting my chest has lifted and I am able to breathe again.
Does he replace Rico? NO! Rico is my heartdog, nothing will EVER change that. Does having Max make me feel again? YES! Do I still cry for Rico? YES!
Max is a TOTAL people/lap dog. All he wants to do is be held and snuggle, he is absolutely PRECIOUS. The bonus is that he and Nita hit it off immediately and they play together all the time! Nita had been so depressed since Rico's death.
I think you can see by the pictures that Stephen is smitten as well. And yes, I look like hell, the last 12 days have been horrible on me.
This afternoon, while we were at home watching Max and Nita play, Mary Martin called me to tell us that the Rico Fund had raised "several THOUSAND dollars"....Stephen and I just sat here and CRIED. What a wonderful legacy for Rico and a wonderful testament to all the friends we have here. We will be forever grateful for everyone's support after Rico's death.
Go ahead, write back and tell me I am crazy! But wait till you meet Max! Even though he may look a bit like Rico, he is nothing like Rico at all, very different personality. And those LONG legs and floppy ears!
Upon reading this, I truly did cry for her from joy, joy that this little dog found his forever home, and joy that he was there to help ease the pain of loss.
Here is a picture of the little guy, I think he looks tuckered out from all the excitement! :)
About 2 weeks ago now, he left them suddenly from complications of illness. Leaving them very bereft and inconsolable. It has been as hard on those of us also who love her as our friend and knew this little dog. I wished so much that I could make their burden easier for them, knowing I couldn't, it was hard. However, I did encourage her to keep her heart open to another perhaps that was waiting to fill the space and who needed them.
To my surprise I received this beautiful email from her last night and with her permission wished to share it with you.
Life is so strange sometimes....
Yesterday around lunch time, I sent off an email to my friend Mary, also known as Mary Martin, Santa Fe Animal Shelter Director. I asked her what her opinion was of adopting another dog after the loss of such a love as my heartdog Rico. I told her I was deeply depressed and unsure how to pull myself out of this. I also told her I had been scanning over the "Adoptable Dogs" on their web site and my mouse kept clicking and returning to this little brown dog named Butternut.
I didn't get any answer. The day went by...Thursday, usually my very favorite day because by the time 530 PM rolls around I've put 50 hours under my belt and I get to go home for 3 days...but yesterday, the weekend ahead loomed over me like a big black hole in the universe, ready to swallow me up...all I wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed and cry.
Then, at 230 PM, Mary walked into our business, with this little brown dog in her arms, Butternut from the SF Animal Shelter web site, plopped him down in my lap and said something to the effect of....You know, this little fellow needs arms to hold him, someone to love him...you can tell me RIGHT NOW to get the heck out of here, or you can keep him and bring him back to the shelter tomorrow morning, or you can bring him back Sunday, or you can keep him forever...you are under NO obligation here...and she left. The dog snuggled under my chin and fell asleep in my arms.....
Do I need to tell you the rest of the story?
Today, at 230 PM, I was at the shelter officially adopting this little adorable treasure. We named him Max. He is approximately 7-8 months old and was picked up as an unneutered stray by animal control on August 12. He was neutered and microchipped while at the shelter. (Stephen would have been there with me to do the official adoption papers but he is in bed with a bad cold, alas the pictures of him with Max in bed)
Last night, for the FIRST night since Rico died, I slept a few solid hours with Max tucked under my chin sighing contentedly. The pain constricting my chest has lifted and I am able to breathe again.
Does he replace Rico? NO! Rico is my heartdog, nothing will EVER change that. Does having Max make me feel again? YES! Do I still cry for Rico? YES!
Max is a TOTAL people/lap dog. All he wants to do is be held and snuggle, he is absolutely PRECIOUS. The bonus is that he and Nita hit it off immediately and they play together all the time! Nita had been so depressed since Rico's death.
I think you can see by the pictures that Stephen is smitten as well. And yes, I look like hell, the last 12 days have been horrible on me.
This afternoon, while we were at home watching Max and Nita play, Mary Martin called me to tell us that the Rico Fund had raised "several THOUSAND dollars"....Stephen and I just sat here and CRIED. What a wonderful legacy for Rico and a wonderful testament to all the friends we have here. We will be forever grateful for everyone's support after Rico's death.
Go ahead, write back and tell me I am crazy! But wait till you meet Max! Even though he may look a bit like Rico, he is nothing like Rico at all, very different personality. And those LONG legs and floppy ears!
Upon reading this, I truly did cry for her from joy, joy that this little dog found his forever home, and joy that he was there to help ease the pain of loss.
Here is a picture of the little guy, I think he looks tuckered out from all the excitement! :)
Monday, August 31, 2009
Quirks of our elderly pets
Life with an elderly pet is never boring. There are many pros and cons with them, fortunately the pros are the ones that make the memories worthwhile. Currently I have 2 twilighters, my little male chihuahua, Lil'Shit is now 14 and Mushy the cat, is 18 coming on 19 now. To some that may not seem very old, but for them, they've had a full life. And Lil'Shit has had some very rough patches in his life for such a small dog. Either way, anyone who loves and has shared their lives with an animal, know when they reach their last year or two of life. They go through distinct changes and not all of them are easy for us to deal with.
Lil'Shit I believe is going deaf, and is going blind. I know he can hear only sharp whistles and noises, and probably only see shadows or shapes, which would account for his dogging our steps everywhere, and standing close to our feet. It makes moving around in the house and especially the kitchen hazardous for us and him. We keep tripping over him. And heaven forbid we go into a part of the house where he can't see or sense us, he'll whine and cry till we come back to him. And he cannot bear to be outside for long, he'll go right out and do his business then want right back in. His food preferences change about every other day. One day, he'll love his food, then maybe for supper he decides he'll want one of the girls' supper instead of his. These are trivial things, what is most wonderful and warms the heart is to see him so ecstatically happy when one of us comes home, and the adoration in his looks he gives us, brings us back to how much we do love him. And how much he relies on us.
Mushy..... Oh Mushy.... Silly old man. He plays and runs and chases dust motes like a kitten. But unlike a dog, cats when they head into their last year(s) get very very vocal. And they will talk or sing at any time day or night. I am constantly amazed and the variety of different tones and sounds from him. And as the months go on, he gets more and more vocal and louder. He is also prefers to always be around me, and has become very possessive. Mushy is my boy, I have had him since he was a small lump of flea bitten fur at 4 weeks of age (someone dumped him). I raised him on goat's milk and honey, and we've been very bonded since. He is usually very impatient with my morning routine, and will sit and talk to me while I am in the shower, and will talk to me the entire time I am getting ready. Then he will walk downstairs with me for his breakfast. He is in excellent health, and as is the case with our senior pets, is thin and is always hungry it seems. He absolutely loves drinking water from my glass as long as it has ice in it. He has become very loving cuddling and loves to purr when laying on me. He is always either in my lap, on my chest, or cuddled next to me in bed, I never have to reach far to find him, and making contact brings on the purrs, which really are calming and healing.
I try spoil them as I can. I do my best to provide them the best natural diet I can, which shows I am doing it right by their coats, and the fact that they are so healthy and haven't needed a vet in years. I give them both Ttouch daily and they repay it with love. Although like any senior, they have parts that don't work as reliably as they once did, like balance, jumping up to the sofa, wash themselves, or back leg coordination.
So I make sure to cherish them every moment, and when it's their time to pass to the bridge they will be sorely missed, for they did bring alot of light, love and joy into our lives. And I just couldn't have imagined a life without either of them.
Lil'Shit I believe is going deaf, and is going blind. I know he can hear only sharp whistles and noises, and probably only see shadows or shapes, which would account for his dogging our steps everywhere, and standing close to our feet. It makes moving around in the house and especially the kitchen hazardous for us and him. We keep tripping over him. And heaven forbid we go into a part of the house where he can't see or sense us, he'll whine and cry till we come back to him. And he cannot bear to be outside for long, he'll go right out and do his business then want right back in. His food preferences change about every other day. One day, he'll love his food, then maybe for supper he decides he'll want one of the girls' supper instead of his. These are trivial things, what is most wonderful and warms the heart is to see him so ecstatically happy when one of us comes home, and the adoration in his looks he gives us, brings us back to how much we do love him. And how much he relies on us.
Mushy..... Oh Mushy.... Silly old man. He plays and runs and chases dust motes like a kitten. But unlike a dog, cats when they head into their last year(s) get very very vocal. And they will talk or sing at any time day or night. I am constantly amazed and the variety of different tones and sounds from him. And as the months go on, he gets more and more vocal and louder. He is also prefers to always be around me, and has become very possessive. Mushy is my boy, I have had him since he was a small lump of flea bitten fur at 4 weeks of age (someone dumped him). I raised him on goat's milk and honey, and we've been very bonded since. He is usually very impatient with my morning routine, and will sit and talk to me while I am in the shower, and will talk to me the entire time I am getting ready. Then he will walk downstairs with me for his breakfast. He is in excellent health, and as is the case with our senior pets, is thin and is always hungry it seems. He absolutely loves drinking water from my glass as long as it has ice in it. He has become very loving cuddling and loves to purr when laying on me. He is always either in my lap, on my chest, or cuddled next to me in bed, I never have to reach far to find him, and making contact brings on the purrs, which really are calming and healing.
I try spoil them as I can. I do my best to provide them the best natural diet I can, which shows I am doing it right by their coats, and the fact that they are so healthy and haven't needed a vet in years. I give them both Ttouch daily and they repay it with love. Although like any senior, they have parts that don't work as reliably as they once did, like balance, jumping up to the sofa, wash themselves, or back leg coordination.
So I make sure to cherish them every moment, and when it's their time to pass to the bridge they will be sorely missed, for they did bring alot of light, love and joy into our lives. And I just couldn't have imagined a life without either of them.
