I have a friend who is grieving terribly over the recent unexpected loss of her beloved dog. And her grief has me wishing to write a bit on grief at the loss of a companion.
It is never ever easy to let our cherished companions go before what we feel is their "time". We know when we accept them to share our lives with us, that they are really only with us a short time, and yet they leave an indelible mark on our lives and hearts. And while we all do our best in caring for them, loving them, sharing our souls and lives with them, the hardest part is also the most compassionate part sometimes.
Not all of our pets are able to pass from us gracefully from old age, some need our help to pass gracefully. And truly the most compassionate thing we can do, is our final act of loving them, and allowing them to pass without pain, without suffering and without fear. I have had too many little souls share my life that I have had to help them pass, it is never the easy choice but is the hard one and the right one to make. And believe me, we all feel when we do make that choice that perhaps there is something we could have done to make it different, we all almost always end up blaming ourselves or feeling guilty that we could have noticed sooner, etc. Sometimes the whole thing just happens way too fast to be prepared or even accept that it is happening.
After my last heartbreaking loss, I pray daily that I get another day to love and cherish those who still share my life. And I have to stop sometimes and realize they are all headed into their geratric years, with two in their twilight years. And those in their twilight years, can develop some interesting new habits or compulsive habits. Sometimes these new habits can be annoying, but then I have to stop and think about how little precious time I may actually have with them, and put up with it or adapt. I also finally realized that some of these habits are a form of senility, and sometimes fear, and that these obsessive habits are a form of a security blanket for them because they don't understand what is happening. Usually they will very rarely allow us out of their sight anymore, as being close is a comfort to them and they need to feel our touch or the vibrations from our speaking to them for comfort.
So I try my best, I love my furkids, I try to spoil them a bit, I work to keep their routine so there is comfort for them in it, and I watch and learn from them every day they are with me. I revel in the beauty they have brought my life, and the compassion they teach me daily, reminding me to keep loving unconditionally. And I cherish those gifts. And I cry for every friend who loses their beloved companion before "their time", because I truly can relate to their feelings of loss and wish I could help them with their pain. But knowing the best thing I can do for them is to be there for them, just listen, and let them talk, cry or be angry.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
One of my peeves....
I live in the Southwest. They call it the "high" desert here. It's still desert here whether or not we're high is debatable. However, living in the desert has dangers to pets and the mountains can add to those dangers. Add in ignorant and angry drivers and it's just downright dangerous for any pet or animal to be loose and running around. Oh, and then there's young people who are bored and will torment an animal that is outdoors or running loose.
My peeve is this, PLEASE if you are a caring and responsible pet owner, DO NOT allow your cats to run loose, or your dogs. Everyday I see animals running loose, or dead by the side of the road, it's plain heartbreaking.
Cats can not only be hit by cars, shot by an irate neighbor or a neighbor who just doesn't like cats, they are snacks and yummy to coyotes and dog packs, they are shot with blow darts by bored kids, they are used as bait animals for training fighting dogs, and the list goes on. Dogs, if running loose will pack with other dogs, kill livestock, get shot at, hit by cars, eaten by cougars and even coyotes, tormented by kids if left in a yard that isn't protected, and this list goes on also.
Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING breaks my heart more than to have seen a beloved pet, dead on the road, and leave me hoping that it was quick and they didn't suffer. I cry for every one of them I see. It is far, far crueler to let them run loose than to keep them safely confined. Personally I don't believe cats that are pets shouldn't be allowed outside. They truly are much happier inside. And believe me, nothing is more shocking or heartbreaking than seeing a coyote chase and grab a cat and eat them alive. And don't for a minute be fooled that coyotes are only out in the countryside, they come right into towns, we even have cougars and bears downtown quite often.
Dogs should be either kept safely indoors or in a safe yard, or run. Where kids cannot torment them, where they cannot be hit and left to die slowly, or even stolen and sold to animal research facilities, or medical schools, like a story in South America this week. And if they aren't loose and in a pack, they are not a menace to other pets or small children. Dog packs and the pack mentality is dangerous.
Don't assume that everyone on the planet is a pet lover or animal lover. I have seen people driving aim for a animal to run it over. Or how about someone who deliberately poisons an animal and lets it suffer a long agonizing death.
And please spay and neuter, because roaming pets that are not altered create more unwanted pets that usually end up being euthanized. Spaying or neutering will not take anything away from your pet. He'll still be a male, and won't become a wuss, your girl will be just fine without having to have a litter. And you'll be increasing their life overall.
Ok, gripe over for now. Please be responsible for your pet. Even the Humane Society, and ASPCA will all tell you that pets are happier when inside and in safe surroundings.
My peeve is this, PLEASE if you are a caring and responsible pet owner, DO NOT allow your cats to run loose, or your dogs. Everyday I see animals running loose, or dead by the side of the road, it's plain heartbreaking.
Cats can not only be hit by cars, shot by an irate neighbor or a neighbor who just doesn't like cats, they are snacks and yummy to coyotes and dog packs, they are shot with blow darts by bored kids, they are used as bait animals for training fighting dogs, and the list goes on. Dogs, if running loose will pack with other dogs, kill livestock, get shot at, hit by cars, eaten by cougars and even coyotes, tormented by kids if left in a yard that isn't protected, and this list goes on also.
Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING breaks my heart more than to have seen a beloved pet, dead on the road, and leave me hoping that it was quick and they didn't suffer. I cry for every one of them I see. It is far, far crueler to let them run loose than to keep them safely confined. Personally I don't believe cats that are pets shouldn't be allowed outside. They truly are much happier inside. And believe me, nothing is more shocking or heartbreaking than seeing a coyote chase and grab a cat and eat them alive. And don't for a minute be fooled that coyotes are only out in the countryside, they come right into towns, we even have cougars and bears downtown quite often.
Dogs should be either kept safely indoors or in a safe yard, or run. Where kids cannot torment them, where they cannot be hit and left to die slowly, or even stolen and sold to animal research facilities, or medical schools, like a story in South America this week. And if they aren't loose and in a pack, they are not a menace to other pets or small children. Dog packs and the pack mentality is dangerous.
Don't assume that everyone on the planet is a pet lover or animal lover. I have seen people driving aim for a animal to run it over. Or how about someone who deliberately poisons an animal and lets it suffer a long agonizing death.
And please spay and neuter, because roaming pets that are not altered create more unwanted pets that usually end up being euthanized. Spaying or neutering will not take anything away from your pet. He'll still be a male, and won't become a wuss, your girl will be just fine without having to have a litter. And you'll be increasing their life overall.
Ok, gripe over for now. Please be responsible for your pet. Even the Humane Society, and ASPCA will all tell you that pets are happier when inside and in safe surroundings.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The antics of a rhino in kitty clothes
Yummy, is our big beautiful blue eyed Siamese cross, who is very fluffy and very, very large. He is somewhere in the range of 23 to 25 pounds. And no matter what I try to do to get him to lose the weight, it doesn't work. Oh don't get me wrong, he's certainly not lazy and is very fleet on his feet. But he has all the grace of a Rhino. And if you are downstairs you can hear him when he does his "Santa Fe 500" laps upstairs being full of himself. He even sounds like a Rhino or an Elephant thumping around up there.
We all know that cats usually are known for their grace and stealth, but there is usually one like Yummy who defies this description the majority of the time. Bless his big blue eyes, he can be stealthy when he's sneaking up on you, but he will never be called graceful. Perhaps this is the reason for the "muscle" bulk, to make up for grace, he gets the power. He's not klutzy, he's just not graceful. And you certainly know it if he steps on you or has you well tucked into bed. He can sneak into bed with you, then claim you as his comfy spot. And moving him off you or off the covers that are between you and the side of the bed, is about like trying to move a liquid lead lump. He sleeps heavy and heaven help you if you need to get out of bed in a hurry. We have discovered though that you can roll him down the covers as it were to get enough space to get out of bed. The frustrating thing is that he then has the audacity to actually show up to the bathroom before you, when you were positive that he was still in bed.
Mornings can be especially entertaining. I am usually up first while my husband will try to grab a few more Z's before he has to climb out of bed. It isn't long after I am up before Yum will decide that he must chase his tail as if it is a demon following him on the bed. Yes, he'll pretend his tail is an alien. One morning he caught it and actually bit himself. Talk about startling! He scared himself and went flying off the bed and downstairs before you could say "Holy Moly!" I don't think his feet touched the floor from the bed to the stairs. Needless to say though, it doesn't help the husband catch many more Z's. The bed feels like a little trampoline when Yum is playing like this on it. Which is why we don't own a waterbed anymore. One the occasional leak occurred, two, you got seasick.
He considers my husband his pet. And will dole out his nose kisses to me very sparingly should he be feeling generous or pestering me for something. Otherwise I only get love bites, while his "pet" gets "exfoliated". My lord he must have the roughest tongue of any cat I have ever had. The only thing rougher I have felt (although slimier) was a bull I knew who would use his tongue to wrap around your wrist to take hay from your hand. That being said, we are very fond of our Rhino in kitty clothes, he provides us with love and A LOT of humor. For example, watching him run when he's being full of himself and then go flying over one of the child gates we use for the dogs. He can even clear a child gate from a sitting position. However, these leaps are definitely NOT graceful, they are more like watching a moose or something go over a hurdle. Actually, I believe the moose may be more graceful.
So, if anyone dares to tell you that an animal has absolutely no personality (my high school anatomy & physiology teacher said this) or that they only know what you teach them; ask the person what planet did they come from? They are obviously stupid.
We all know that cats usually are known for their grace and stealth, but there is usually one like Yummy who defies this description the majority of the time. Bless his big blue eyes, he can be stealthy when he's sneaking up on you, but he will never be called graceful. Perhaps this is the reason for the "muscle" bulk, to make up for grace, he gets the power. He's not klutzy, he's just not graceful. And you certainly know it if he steps on you or has you well tucked into bed. He can sneak into bed with you, then claim you as his comfy spot. And moving him off you or off the covers that are between you and the side of the bed, is about like trying to move a liquid lead lump. He sleeps heavy and heaven help you if you need to get out of bed in a hurry. We have discovered though that you can roll him down the covers as it were to get enough space to get out of bed. The frustrating thing is that he then has the audacity to actually show up to the bathroom before you, when you were positive that he was still in bed.
Mornings can be especially entertaining. I am usually up first while my husband will try to grab a few more Z's before he has to climb out of bed. It isn't long after I am up before Yum will decide that he must chase his tail as if it is a demon following him on the bed. Yes, he'll pretend his tail is an alien. One morning he caught it and actually bit himself. Talk about startling! He scared himself and went flying off the bed and downstairs before you could say "Holy Moly!" I don't think his feet touched the floor from the bed to the stairs. Needless to say though, it doesn't help the husband catch many more Z's. The bed feels like a little trampoline when Yum is playing like this on it. Which is why we don't own a waterbed anymore. One the occasional leak occurred, two, you got seasick.
He considers my husband his pet. And will dole out his nose kisses to me very sparingly should he be feeling generous or pestering me for something. Otherwise I only get love bites, while his "pet" gets "exfoliated". My lord he must have the roughest tongue of any cat I have ever had. The only thing rougher I have felt (although slimier) was a bull I knew who would use his tongue to wrap around your wrist to take hay from your hand. That being said, we are very fond of our Rhino in kitty clothes, he provides us with love and A LOT of humor. For example, watching him run when he's being full of himself and then go flying over one of the child gates we use for the dogs. He can even clear a child gate from a sitting position. However, these leaps are definitely NOT graceful, they are more like watching a moose or something go over a hurdle. Actually, I believe the moose may be more graceful.
So, if anyone dares to tell you that an animal has absolutely no personality (my high school anatomy & physiology teacher said this) or that they only know what you teach them; ask the person what planet did they come from? They are obviously stupid.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Quirks of our elderly pets
Life with an elderly pet is never boring. There are many pros and cons with them, fortunately the pros are the ones that make the memories worthwhile. Currently I have 2 twilighters, my little male chihuahua, Lil'Shit is now 14 and Mushy the cat, is 18 coming on 19 now. To some that may not seem very old, but for them, they've had a full life. And Lil'Shit has had some very rough patches in his life for such a small dog. Either way, anyone who loves and has shared their lives with an animal, know when they reach their last year or two of life. They go through distinct changes and not all of them are easy for us to deal with.
Lil'Shit I believe is going deaf, and is going blind. I know he can hear only sharp whistles and noises, and probably only see shadows or shapes, which would account for his dogging our steps everywhere, and standing close to our feet. It makes moving around in the house and especially the kitchen hazardous for us and him. We keep tripping over him. And heaven forbid we go into a part of the house where he can't see or sense us, he'll whine and cry till we come back to him. And he cannot bear to be outside for long, he'll go right out and do his business then want right back in. His food preferences change about every other day. One day, he'll love his food, then maybe for supper he decides he'll want one of the girls' supper instead of his. These are trivial things, what is most wonderful and warms the heart is to see him so ecstatically happy when one of us comes home, and the adoration in his looks he gives us, brings us back to how much we do love him. And how much he relies on us.
Mushy..... Oh Mushy.... Silly old man. He plays and runs and chases dust motes like a kitten. But unlike a dog, cats when they head into their last year(s) get very very vocal. And they will talk or sing at any time day or night. I am constantly amazed and the variety of different tones and sounds from him. And as the months go on, he gets more and more vocal and louder. He is also prefers to always be around me, and has become very possessive. Mushy is my boy, I have had him since he was a small lump of flea bitten fur at 4 weeks of age (someone dumped him). I raised him on goat's milk and honey, and we've been very bonded since. He is usually very impatient with my morning routine, and will sit and talk to me while I am in the shower, and will talk to me the entire time I am getting ready. Then he will walk downstairs with me for his breakfast. He is in excellent health, and as is the case with our senior pets, is thin and is always hungry it seems. He absolutely loves drinking water from my glass as long as it has ice in it. He has become very loving cuddling and loves to purr when laying on me. He is always either in my lap, on my chest, or cuddled next to me in bed, I never have to reach far to find him, and making contact brings on the purrs, which really are calming and healing.
I try spoil them as I can. I do my best to provide them the best natural diet I can, which shows I am doing it right by their coats, and the fact that they are so healthy and haven't needed a vet in years. I give them both Ttouch daily and they repay it with love. Although like any senior, they have parts that don't work as reliably as they once did, like balance, jumping up to the sofa, wash themselves, or back leg coordination.
So I make sure to cherish them every moment, and when it's their time to pass to the bridge they will be sorely missed, for they did bring alot of light, love and joy into our lives. And I just couldn't have imagined a life without either of them.
Lil'Shit I believe is going deaf, and is going blind. I know he can hear only sharp whistles and noises, and probably only see shadows or shapes, which would account for his dogging our steps everywhere, and standing close to our feet. It makes moving around in the house and especially the kitchen hazardous for us and him. We keep tripping over him. And heaven forbid we go into a part of the house where he can't see or sense us, he'll whine and cry till we come back to him. And he cannot bear to be outside for long, he'll go right out and do his business then want right back in. His food preferences change about every other day. One day, he'll love his food, then maybe for supper he decides he'll want one of the girls' supper instead of his. These are trivial things, what is most wonderful and warms the heart is to see him so ecstatically happy when one of us comes home, and the adoration in his looks he gives us, brings us back to how much we do love him. And how much he relies on us.
Mushy..... Oh Mushy.... Silly old man. He plays and runs and chases dust motes like a kitten. But unlike a dog, cats when they head into their last year(s) get very very vocal. And they will talk or sing at any time day or night. I am constantly amazed and the variety of different tones and sounds from him. And as the months go on, he gets more and more vocal and louder. He is also prefers to always be around me, and has become very possessive. Mushy is my boy, I have had him since he was a small lump of flea bitten fur at 4 weeks of age (someone dumped him). I raised him on goat's milk and honey, and we've been very bonded since. He is usually very impatient with my morning routine, and will sit and talk to me while I am in the shower, and will talk to me the entire time I am getting ready. Then he will walk downstairs with me for his breakfast. He is in excellent health, and as is the case with our senior pets, is thin and is always hungry it seems. He absolutely loves drinking water from my glass as long as it has ice in it. He has become very loving cuddling and loves to purr when laying on me. He is always either in my lap, on my chest, or cuddled next to me in bed, I never have to reach far to find him, and making contact brings on the purrs, which really are calming and healing.
I try spoil them as I can. I do my best to provide them the best natural diet I can, which shows I am doing it right by their coats, and the fact that they are so healthy and haven't needed a vet in years. I give them both Ttouch daily and they repay it with love. Although like any senior, they have parts that don't work as reliably as they once did, like balance, jumping up to the sofa, wash themselves, or back leg coordination.
So I make sure to cherish them every moment, and when it's their time to pass to the bridge they will be sorely missed, for they did bring alot of light, love and joy into our lives. And I just couldn't have imagined a life without either of them.
